Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Once again life changes ...

Once again life is changing.

I just wish things would slow down once in a while, and work for us, instead of against us.  It is so hard to try and move forward from things, when there is always something to hold you back.  For me, it's fear of the unknown, but not on my part, as much as my husbands.  We are relocating and it will take him away from where he's grown up, but the job opportunities are better for both of us in another state.

I know how scary it can be, but he is still hiding his emotions and feelings from everyone around him.  I made a huge move a year ago, and understand how hard it is, but I did it.  He's having a very hard time, and with me especially, it's frustrating.  I love him, but wish that right now, things were different.

I get that he's scared, and even apprehensive, but we can't continue the way things are right now.  I worry that this could truly destroy us, in a way that I don't know if it will ever be able to be fixed.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a "doer" and that I don't accept it when people are unable to do what they say they are going to, simply because they can't be 'bothered" .. right now, he's slowly falling into a depression, and while I can understand his fears are what's driving him there, I can't help but feel a little selfish, and want to get mad at him, and yell that he's not  the only one moving, and changing their life.

Men can be so difficult sometimes, if only he believed in himself, the way I do .. I try all the time, to encourage him, and help him feel better about himself, but that doesn't seem to help.

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